My Story
Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.
Proverbs 22:6 ESV
One of my enduring childhood memories comes from our nightly routine. After the books were read and the teeth were brushed, Dad would kneel next to the bed and so would we. And then we would pray. Every night, without fail. We would pray for friends and family, and then pray about any concerns that we had, either for ourselves or for others. They weren’t elaborate prayers, but they were sincere. Because my Dad believed that our earnest prayers reached the ear of our Heavenly Father, I came to believe that myself. After we prayed, Dad would tuck us in and then go to his room to pray more.
And if I ever snuck downstairs early the next morning, I would find Dad at the breakfast table with his Bible open right in front of him. I come from a construction family, which meant that Dad usually had early mornings and hard days. Yet every morning, my Dad would make the time to spend with his Heavenly Father.
I’ve heard it said that “more is caught than taught.” While Dad taught me so many things as a boy about character, scripture, and more, what has stuck with me over the years is Dad’s example of faith. When I found myself in a spiritual wilderness, Dad’s example of prayer reminded me that my Heavenly Father was listening. When I hungered to know God deeply, Dad’s faithfulness to the Word of God reminded me that God had already given me a window into His heart.
Grace in Parenting
In the fear of the Lord one has strong confidence, and his children will have a refuge.
Proverbs 14:26 ESV
These days, I have two little boys of my own, and being a father has been some of the most fun I have had in my life! To them, I’m a human jungle gym, a tackle dummy, and their best shot at getting a donut on any given Saturday morning. I get to introduce them to the people I love and the things I love. I get to play a central part in helping these little boys grow into good men.
Being a father can also be unsettling.
When I’m looking down at one of my boys, the first lines of a poem often come to mind: “A careful man I want to be – a little fellow follows me.” A Little Fellow Follows Me by Rev. Claude Wisdom White, Sr. That reality has given me a quiet desperation, as I become acutely aware of my own shortcomings. I want to protect my boys and my family. But while a pandemic is swirling about our world, I’m reminded of how little protection I can truly provide. I want to provide for my family. But when millions find themselves suddenly out of work, I’m reminded of how fleeting provision can be. In the years since my first son was born, I have realized that I am not wise enough, strong enough, or resourceful enough to be the father I want to be.
But I am not alone.
In Jeremiah 9:23-24, God says “Let not the wise man boast in his wisdom, let not the mighty man boast in his might, let not the rich man boast in his riches, but let him who boasts boast in this, that he understands and knows me, that I am the Lord who practices steadfast love, justice, and righteousness in the earth. For in these things I delight, declares the Lord.” While I don’t have the wisdom, strength, or riches that I sometimes wish I could give to my family, I do have a Heavenly Father whose thoughts are higher than my thoughts (Isaiah 55:9), who helps and strengthens me (Isaiah 41:10), and who owns all the cattle on a thousand hills (Psalm 50:10).
So I can earnestly pray and invite my sons to boldly approach the throne of grace. I can carve out time to meet with my Father through His Word. And maybe, just maybe, I can set the same fatherly example that my Dad did.
Encouragement to Fathers
For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, ‘Abba! Father!’
Romans 8:15 ESV
I have finally arrived at the point where diaper changes aren’t quite as terrifying as they used to be, but I am still very, very new to parenting. Lately, the brokenness in our world has been on full display, and it’s caused me to wonder if I am doing the right things as a father.
I want my boys to grow into men after God’s own heart. (Acts 13:22). I want them to bring about justice and righteousness in a world that can be so unjust. (Micah 6:8). I suspect that any current and future parents reading this want the same thing for their sons and daughters.
While “babies don’t keep,” raising them right can be a long, hard road. There’s freedom to be found in the fact that, the best way to become the kind of fathers we want to be, we must first live as sons of our Heavenly Father. We can call out to Him when we don’t know what to do. We can trust His provision when we are unsure if we can provide. We can rest in the knowledge that, before the Earth was formed, He knew our little ones.
And He is faithful.
Your friend,
Evan